Sunday, June 13, 2010

"Dad, Christian says I play like a girl!"

Looking at the picture above, of Elliot jumping the wall at Target Field (okay Dustin is holding him, but still!) it is hard to believe that anyone could question Elliot's athletic ability -- the kid has talent ... however, I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that Elliot may just be that kid ... the whiny tattletale that draws in, like fear-smelling dogs, the boys who need to show everyone who's boss.  In this case, Christian.

"Elliot, do YOU think you play like a girl?" (Coach Dustin/Dad)
"No." (Elliot)
"Then don't listen to Christian." (Coach Dustin/Dad)
"Okay." (Elliot)

The thing is that Elliot actually WILL have athletic abilities ... I can see it already.  The problem is that:
a) he is going to be the youngest in his class when he starts kindergarten
b) he doesn't stop talking, which for many of you is endearing, but for some kids is quite annoying
c) he tells people when he is bothered, which just makes them want to bother him even more

c) is the case with Christian, who is, aside from a foot taller than Elliot, just hell-bent on bothering him.  Glove on the head, pushing, taunting ... and they are on the same team.  WTF?!

Now, because I do not want to be that mom, the mom that gets involved and constantly comes to the aid of her child by yelling at other people's children, I choose to sit on the sidelines, with smoke fuming out of my ears, trying to be distracted by Libbi (#1 fan)

and hoping, just hoping, that he toughens up sooner than later.  If not, grade school could be much harder than he thinks.  The good thing is that he's got a few things on his side:  he's smart, he's funny, he's cute, and he's got great eyelashes.

It also helps that Dustin is the coach, and while he won't interfere (like I want him to!), at least he can keep the boys and girls under control this summer.  Here are some pics of Coach Dad in action ...

Look at that encouragement!

And he gives one-on-one direction to all the players ... even the girls.  His biggest accomplishment in week #2 was remembering everyone's names.  Way to go, Coach.

But here's the player that we really care about.  Elliot looks sad here for some reason, but he was pumped every time he got to bat.  I think he just didn't want Dad's help.

Nice work Elliot!  I hope you hit Christian smack in the middle of his forehead.

More action shots.

And then no action whatsoever, because, oh wait, this is PRESCHOOL T-BALL.  The guy behind him was one of Dustin's "not helpful" assistants for the week. Good thing Dustin actually knows how to coach.

And here are the fans, trying to be cheerful for just 5 more minutes.  I think Dustin asked if it was 8:00 yet about 3 times.

I am hopeful that Elliot will develop into a serious t-ball talent to be reckoned with, but if anything, he is a super-cute Twins fan, and that will do for now.

THEN ...

Thursday night we move into the epitomy of preschool soccer, displayed in this highlight reel:

Soccer flock #1 - Elliot gets schooled

Soccer flock #2 - Elliot goes wrong direction

Soccer flock #3 - Elliot goes in the net

Soccer is going to take a little more work.  He's got the energy, he's got the pace, he's got the shin guards ... I just don't think he really understands the game, which could be a problem.  Clearly that is everyone's problem, aside from the 16 year-olds they played in their first game.  I think the score was 20-1.  And that 1 was kind of an accident.  Again, thank God he's cute, right?

"Strategizing" with the coach.  The kid on the right, Truman, is watching a butterfly or something.

Practicing with Fiona.  Looks like a pro!

Cheerful, right before he got kneed in the thigh.  Shake it off, Elliot.  Shake it off.

Elliot's first experience with "good game" ... He didn't quite get it, but at least he was saying it to somebody!

Again, biggest fan ever!

After a rough game, one must definitely shave and reflect on the competition.  Next, he'll be drinking a cold one and watching the game tape.


  1. I'm not sure if the eyelashes are going to help save him from boys like Christian. At least he wears his shin guards inside of his socks. He would never have forgiven you for that one.

  2. The eyelashes will get the girls. At least that is my prediction.

  3. It was awesome. He will get with the program. Just give him time. He has the cutest fans in the crowd. And how lucky to have a Dad that knows how to teach. It will get him there. Dad and I smiled through the whole thing. BOTH TIMES> Keep it coming my little Erma of 2010.